First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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