The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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