If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Soap is not a condiment
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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