Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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