So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
