Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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