plz talk dirty to me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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