Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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