can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
its not stalking. its research.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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