Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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