dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
