No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
