erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
