she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
