dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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