okay pat passed out under dana's car
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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