Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
