Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize