I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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