Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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