Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
