just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
