I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
