My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
