You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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