yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
