it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
