I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
