Sober January is a disaster.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
