I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
