8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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