Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
