whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
