its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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