why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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