You're earring is so big in my mouth
She just used a chaser for red wine.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize