Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
