I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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