theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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