My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
