just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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