There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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