I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize