speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
