I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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