whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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