i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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