i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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