Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
