Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
