I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
