I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
