now i know why i became what i already was.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
