Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
