I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
