i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
