Me too!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
