Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
