You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
