Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
how drunk are you?
Several
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
