I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
