I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
