pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
