I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
