I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
