He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
